Imagine you’re a pilot on the tarmac at Salt Lake International, Prior to takeoff, your mind is not on last night’s dinner conversation or problems at home. Your full concentration is on running your checks, talking to the tower, assessing external conditions. Throttling down the runway, your mind is absorbed in the moment. You lift off, climb, bank on course, punch through turbulence, and reach cruising altitude. At 37,000 feet with a 10 hour flight ahead, with your main tasks done, you activate the autopilot. Now the plane essentially flies itself. Northerly crosswinds nudge you off course; the plane gently banks left to correct. Headwinds slow you down; thrust increases automatically. At any moment you can disengage autopilot and take control again. Our relationship with our brain essentially works the same way.

“Piloting” applied to Thinking:

Elbows bend, ears hear, eyes see, stomachs digest—and brains think. Telling it to stop thinking is as effective as telling your heart to stop beating. It runs 24/7, automatically. Most of the time it runs on autopilot: habitual patterns, emotional reactions, circular loops, and downward spirals. “Piloted” thinking is when you disengage autopilot and take control: mindful, rational, deliberate, and values-aligned. 

Autopilot Thinking

Automatic Thought Habits:

Brushing teeth, driving the usual route, reflexively reaching for the phone, answering “fine” when asked how you are—these require almost no conscious effort. Our brain simply repeats yesterday’s pattern. It’s quite efficicient—unless the pattern isn’t working for you. The same neural shortcut that gets you home on autopilot can also keep you people-pleasing, doom-scrolling, or reciting old self-criticisms. When life changes—conflict, loss, transition, challenge— your old ways may not work. The goal is not to disable autopilot, but to notice when it’s steering you somewhere you don’t want to go and intentionally taking the controls. 

Triggered Emotional Reactions:

Trauma—large or small, acute or chronic—changes us. Triggers get linked to old wounds. When one is activated, the brain doesn’t ease into gear; it slams the throttle. A tone of voice, a sight, sound, scent or phrase can collapse past into present, lighting you up into full alarm. Higher cognitive horsepower goes offline. Fight-flight-freeze takes over. Heart racing, tunnel vision, muscles primed, empathy faded. The reaction feels 100% justified because, to the primitive brain, it’s a matter of survival. Left unchecked, we yell, lash out, shut down, or say things that take weeks (or a lifetime) to repair. Reacting from overwhelm almost always makes the situation worse. 

Looping & Spiraling:

Looping is a hamster wheel: endlessly rehearsing ‘what ifs’ about things that could go wrong or replaying conversations, hunting for every mistake. “I can’t believe I said that. They’re gonna hate me. Why do I always mess up?” Anxiety loops entrap us. Spiraling, on the other hand, is a drainpipe. Each thought is darker than the last: “I messed up → I always mess up → I’m broken → Everyone would be better off without me→ I want to quit this life.” Depression excels at spiraling, anxiety at looping. Both keep the body revved and the mind exhausted, while solving nothing.

Piloted Thinking

Mindful Self-Awareness:

The first and hardest step is noticing—in the moment—that autopilot has taken over. “I’m triggered.” “Shame spiral in progress.” “Anger at 9/10.” You don’t judge or fix it—simply identify it. That single act of observation creates space between you and the feeling. You cannot reason with an emotional tsunami while still in it. So pause. Breathe. Feel the heat in your chest, the knot in your stomach. Wait—five minutes or fifty—until the scream drops to a grumble and the rational mind comes back online. 

Rational, Objective Thinking:

With rationality online, you now can ask: What are the actual facts? What evidence do I have? What would I tell my best friend in this same spot? How am I contributing to the problem? Am I overreacting? What’s the most likely outcome—not the one my mind is imagining? Emotional thinking deals in absolutes: always, never, everyone, ruined. Rational thinking deals in percentages, context, and nuance. It allows us to gain perspective. It’s a slower process than emotionally reacting, yet infinitely more effective.

Problem-Solving & Values-Driven Action:

With clarity restored, you can choose how to respond instead of reacting. Effective problem-solving weighs all options, considers consequences, and chooses the best response for you and for all involved. Values-driven thinking asks deeper questions: Even when I’m hurting, who do I choose to be? The person who repairs, owns their part, speaks truth kindly, acts with integrity? Emotional reactions rarely leave us proud. Piloted responses almost always do. 

Tying it All Together:

Your brain is always running, doing its best to protect and serve you. Left entirely on autopilot, it will replay habits, explode on old landmines, and spiral into dark places. Quality of life is largely determined by one ratio: how many minutes a day autopilot is in control versus how many minutes you are. No one effortlessly wakes up courageous, resilient, kind, or at peace. Those destinations require conscious hands on the controls—especially when life gets rough. The equipment you need is already installed between your ears. The main question is how often you choose to disengage autopilot and use your mind to make the solid choices, instead of just going along for the ride and hoping it all goes well.